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Unborn: Unrated (The)
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray ALL - America - Universal Pictures Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (10th August 2009). |
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The Film
 Someone deserves a huge round of applause for "The Unborn". It’s not the film’s writer/director David S. Goyer, nor is it any of the film’s cast (especially you, Gary Oldman). No, the standing ovation is reserved for whoever cut together the film’s trailer because anyone who can make this god-awful piece of excrement look watchable deserves a raise. Having the distinction of being 2009’s first horror film, "The Unborn" certainly did not help this year get off to a better start than last year when the remakes of "One Missed Call" (2008) and "The Eye" (2008) were the only offerings. I was leery of "The Unborn’s" PG-13 rating, but a couple of interviews with Goyer I read stated he was looking to push the psychological envelope; something "The Dark Knight" (2008) (where Goyer has a screenwriting credit) did successfully. I should have known better after his directing work on the abysmal and loathsome "Blade: Trinity" (2004) and the bland-looking "The Invisible" (2007), but I felt some level of confidence since he has also written some very good films like "Dark City" (1998), "Blade" (1998) and "Blade II" (2002), and he helped to co-write "The Dark Knight" with the Nolan brothers. Huge word of advice, David: stick to writing. "The Unborn" has a somewhat unique, if not wholly unoriginal, plot. One night while babysitting, Casey (Odette Yustman, the chick they were trying to rescue in last year’s "Cloverfield" (2008)) is attacked by the kid she is watching, and she’s told that “Jumby” wants to be born. After developing a congenital condition in her eye that usually affects twins she is told by her father (James Remar, putting in a day’s work on set) tells her that she did have a twin but he died in utero. Unfortunately for Casey, now he’s haunting her from beyond the womb. But, thanks to news from her long-forgotten grandmother, “Jumby” is actually some kind of Jewish demon that’s been haunting the women in her family since the days of Auschwitz. So, naturally, she enlists the aid of a rabbi (Gary Oldman, showing up to collect what must be a badly needed paycheck) to cleanse her body of the demon. Had I read that synopsis before seeing this film I may have been wise enough to think twice before using (read: wasting) a free movie ticket on it. A Jewish demon from Auschwitz? I doubt anyone in the audience saw that coming. In the history of questionable cinematic explanations in horror I don’t think I’ve seen such a head-scratcher as this. I could maybe see this being used as a plot point in some 70’s Nazi-sploitation flick, called something like "Ilsa and the Jew-demon of Auschwitz", but it just feels so incredibly out of place in this flick. Not that that’s the only problem here. No, the biggest gripe is that this movie is just boring; and the dialogue is horrendous. There was a point at which I completely stopped caring about what was going on, my only concern was seeing the end credits scroll as quickly as possible. Again, the trailer was full of awesome bits featuring "Exorcist" style head twisting and grotesquely disfigured creatures. The problem is that you could see all the film’s coolest moments in the trailer; watching the film isn’t even necessary. I’ll say this again on the off-chance that someone who knows David S. Goyer might stumble across this review: he must stop directing. Look, Goyer is obviously a man with a certain knack for writing; he has had great success. The first two "Blade" films were better than anyone probably expected, and he’s responsible for contributing to two of the most revered superhero films of the last decade, "Batman Begins" (2005) and "The Dark Knight" (although I suspect his contributions were largely plot related, since his dialogue is atrocious). However, once he steps behind the camera he seems to suffer from the reverse Midas touch: everything he touches turns to crap. "Blade: Trinity" is an unwatchable piece of cinematic trash, especially in light of how good "Blade II" was (although most of that acclaim is surely the work of uber-genius Guillermo del Toro and not Goyer’s writing). I didn’t even bother checking out "The Invisible" because, frankly, it looked like more of the same vapid, cookie-cutter horror studios pump out to make a quick buck. I’ve been thoroughly conditioned to avoid such cinematic waste, at least so I thought. I’d say "The Unborn" might have been a better film in the hands of a more competent director, but I’m not sure who could have salvaged this mess. It’s a veritable cornucopia of clichés, bad acting, worse dialogue and a seen-it-a-million-time ending. Acting-wise everyone here sucks. Odette Yustman isn’t terrible, but it’s blatantly obvious she has the range of a cordless phone. Goyer, I assume, cast her less for her acting skills and more for her body which he continually shows off in scene after questionable scene. There are only two people in this film that have any kind of acting cred whatsoever: James Remar and Gary Oldman. Now, it’s plain to see that Remar (Ajax from "The Warriors" (1979), most recently Dexter’s father on "Dexter" (2006-present)) showed up to do one day’s worth of work and collect a paycheck. I’m fine with that, although I wish he’d popped up once more to die a pathetic, clichéd death. Gary Oldman, on the other hand, has no excuse. Remember how Michael Caine famously said he took a role in "Jaws 4: The Revenge" (1987) purely to buy himself a house? Well, "The Unborn" is Gary Oldman’s "Jaws 4". I know he’s tight with Goyer since they both worked together on the latest "Batman" films, but Oldman is way too talented to relegate himself to this kind of work. I hope he bought something outlandishly garish with his paycheck. The Blu-ray contains both the theatrical (PG-13) and unrated cuts of the film. The difference between the two is a full minute more of my life that I will never get back. Whatever it is they have added back in here is a mystery to me as the film played just as I remembered it in theaters.
Video
Any shortcomings the film may possess are certainly helped by the incredibly sharp 2.40:1 1080p 24/fps VC1-encoded transfer. The image is extremely faithful to the theatrical presentation, featuring deep black during the film’s many nighttime scenes, incredible clarity in regards to detail, natural skin hues and smooth whites. I’ll stop short of calling this reference quality; the overall image is rather flat and uninspired, but this is definitely a clean looking picture. Universal has been a great performer in the high-definition market with their stellar Blu-rays, so it’s nice to see that even some of the low-end films get proper treatment.
Audio
I found the English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound track mixed at 48kHz/24-bit to be immersive and rich. There are several instances where the track springs to life for a jump scare and the LFE channel gets some life shot into it. Surrounds aren’t used extensively, but they do provide some ambient sounds in an effort to enhance the overall creepiness of the picture. Dialogue is loud and clear, easy to discern above even the loudest music cues the film offers up. There are also Spanish, French, French Canadian and German DTS 5.1 surround sound tracks available. Subtitles are included for English for the hearing impaired, Spanish, French, French Canadian and German.
Extras
Surprisingly, Universal has opted to include very little in the way of bonus features here. Be thankful, for all we get are some deleted scenes and the often-useless BD-Live connectivity feature. There is a reel of deleted scenes which runs for 6 minutes and 37 seconds. They are not available to watch individually. None of them add much to the film overall, they are mostly just character exposition. The BD-Live link leads to the standard Universal home page for profile 2.0 players only. At present the only available option for owners of this Blu-ray is the "My Scenes" bookmark feature found on all Universal Blu-ray discs.
Overall
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