Tanner Hall [Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Anchor Bay Entertainment
Review written by and copyright: Ethan Stevenson (23rd December 2011).
The Film

There’s a saying that everyone has at least one book in them, and I suppose that’s probably true for (most) people and films too. Everyone has at least one story they could make into a movie. But, as the late Christopher Hitchens once said, “everybody does have a good book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” And that statement is certainly even truer of people and films. You might have a story to tell, but will anyone besides you and your best friend—who you wrote the script (and co-directed; and co-produced) with—want to watch it?

That’s a question I have a feeling co-writer/director/producers of “Tanner Hall” Francesca Gregorini and Tatiana von Furstenberg never asked themselves. Had they, perhaps their film wouldn’t be such a bland, boring, banal waste of celluloid. It’s not that their film is awful—its nicely shot and adequately acted—but the story, an obvious pseudo-autobiography with undertones of self-referential 80's-ness despite its seemingly contemporary setting, appears to be one giant in-joke between the two besties. The film appeals to no one but its creators. It doesn’t try to appeal to anyone else either.

And, then again, perhaps Gregorini and von Furstenberg did ask the question, know the answer, and just don’t care.

Their story is a plainly predictable, cliché indie dramedy, filled with cardboard characters and generic genre staples barely holding up a stale piecemeal plot. Tanner Hall is the name of the all girls boarding school where Fernanda (Rooney Mara) spends most of her year, away from a mother she detests for being… well… her mother (“We do share something, mother,” she thinks to herself in voice-over. “We share silence.”). At school she has a close-knit circle of friends—the frumpy Lucasta (Amy Ferguson), a barely closeted lesbian into comic books and female super heroes, and Kate (a pre-“Scott Pilgrim” (2010) Brie Larson), the blonde party girl who openly flirts with everyone, including her male teachers—and a new, but really old, nemesis named Victoria (Georgia King), a spoiled rich bitch, that’s actually the daughter of her mother’s best friend, who manipulates everyone around her just to feel liked. Fern and Victoria were friends once, when they were like three or something. But then Victoria killed her grandmother’s parakeet and that’s the ultimate metaphor for Fern’s loss of innocence or something, and now the two girls hate each other, even though they haven’t seen each other in years.

But that all changes early on in “Tanner Hall” and the two have to deal with their problems because Vicky, and her posh British accent, has invaded Fern’s school like The Beatles taking over Ed Sullivan. And deal they will, but only in a convoluted, roundabout and totally last minute way, where the resolution feels forced when it happens and yet completely inevitable until it does. Between the arrival of Victoria and the expected problems she causes for “Tanner Hall’s” protagonist, and the ultimate resolution of all things wrong with the world at exactly the 86-minute mark, Gregorini and von Furstenberg shoehorn in a series of side-plots and conflicts stolen from other, better, indie movies (or, perhaps, their own lives in a few cases). There’s the dangerous flirtations Kate has with a married English teacher (Chris Kattan), who is unfulfilled in his marriage to a fellow teacher at the school (Amy Sedaris), which feels ripped from some strange hybrid of “Election” (1999) and “American Beauty” (1999). There’s Victoria’s fascination with death, and her ultimate death wish, secret attempts at suicide and psychotic cutting, which… really, I just don’t care. The character isn’t developed enough to really matter all that much. She’s the villain, until she’s not. The end.

In the biggest subplot—one that arcs over the entire film alongside the old-friends-become-enemies-but-eventually-become-besties main plot—Fernanda falls for an older man, Gio (Tom Everett Scott), the husband of one of her mom’s pregnant friends. Gio gives Fernanda LP's of old bands (insert rad references to the 80's here) and consciously flirts back at her; he even teaches her how to “drive stick”, by which of course I mean how to drive his Nissan 240Z (again, ridiculous reference to the 80's), which has a manual transmission. Gio wouldn’t mind doing the other thing too, as we learn later during an uncomfortable attempt at dramatic comedy from the writer/director duo (apparently, statutory rape can be funny; who knew?). Gio does all this because he’s not really ready to be a father, and feels like the soon-to-be-delivered baby has forced him into his marriage and is already stifling his creativity. It’s a plot point oddly reminiscent of a subplot in “Juno” (2007). The only ounce of semi-originality in the entire film comes from the Luc-is-a-lesbian storyline—in only that she has a male friend, the local pizza boy, outside of the group who has fallen in love with her and she doesn’t want to lose him because she feels a close, nonsexual, bond too—but it’s hardly developed, holds no surprises, and ultimately, despite what I wrote at the beginning of this sentence, isn’t original at all.

Originally filmed and produced independently in 2008 and early 2009, “Tanner Hall” languished in distribution hell for years. It was only picked up by Anchor Bay in late 2010 during a festival run when Sony let slip that Rooney Mara was cast as Lisbeth Salander in David Fincher’s upcoming “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (2011). If Mara hadn’t been cast, I expect “Tanner Hall” would’ve never seen proper distribution—least of all the brief theatrical bow it had in September of this year and the Blu-ray release its enjoying now. Both are perfectly timed to coincide with “Dragon Tattoo” press. The theatrical window of “Hall” was aligned perfectly with the advertising ramp up of Fincher’s feature. The Blu-ray arrives mere weeks before “Tattoo” hits theaters.

And Mara’s the real draw here I suppose. But she plays such a generic, girly, woe-is-me teenager with lots of superficial rich-white-girl problems that although her performance is decent, I see no reason to watch it in preparation for her debut as Salander. Well, no. It might prove interesting to see how the performances are so completely different, as the Salander character is almost the complete opposite of Fern.

Video

If nothing else, “Tanner Hall” is a beautiful Blu-ray. The film has some occasionally amazing cinematography, which captures the colors of autumn and coldness of early winter in New England perfectly. And the 1.78:1 widescreen 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encode is equally perfect. Clarity is striking, with the texture in the stonewalled exterior of the titular Tanner Hall, intricate fabric of the girls gray school uniforms, and fantastic facial detail shining through in high definition with nary a moment of softness or wavering detail. Contrast is superb, with an inky black level and bright, warm, amber-yellow-heavy, colors. Skin tones are slightly pushed, as are the more vibrant colors, which appear slightly livelier than they would naturally. But the picture is gorgeous, and Brian Rigney Hubbard’s photographic compositions are quite stunning in certain scenes—shots of Mara and Everett Scott in an apple orchard and in the Z-car under a bright red maple, and Mara and King standing at an open grave near the end of the film struck me in particular. Anchor Bay’s encode is faultless too. The image is nicely filmic, with a natural, finely preserved, grain structure and no signs of banding, artifacts or other digital encoding errors. The disc also shows no signs of post-production tampering like digital noise reduction or edge enhancement. I wasn’t too keen on the film, but there’s little point in denying it: “Tanner Hall” looks excellent in high definition.

Audio

It looks like Anchor Bay is almost single handedly keeping Dolby’s lossless codec alive. They’ve outfit the “Tanner Hall” Blu-ray with an English Dolby TrueHD 5.1 track. The film is a slight, largely front-heavy, talky drama-comedy, so, yeah, it doesn’t sound amazing on Blu-ray. But it doesn’t sound terrible either. This track’s not going to be able to go toe-to-toe with most modern mixes, and certainly not the greatest action spectacles. But dialogue is clear and center focused, and the music—a combination of schmaltzy orchestral score by Roger Neill and a few pop hits, both modern and from the 80's—has a decent dynamic range. Disappointingly, what the track lacks is consistent atmosphere. Classroom scenes have appropriate use of the rears, populated with chatter and subtle cues. But exteriors—the wind and should-be-rustling leaves of a New England autumn; a would-be-more-lively-in-real-life harvest festival and the girl’s ride on a Ferris wheel—are near lifeless. In all, it’s not a bad track, but neither is it something that will really wow anyone. Even those with appropriately lowered expectations. Optional English and Spanish subtitles are also included.

Extras

Extras include a terrible audio commentary and three theatrical trailers. Nothing more. Nothing less. And like usual for Anchor Bay, the commentary is hidden away in the audio set up menu. Grr.

The audio commentary with writer/director/producer’s Francesca Gregorini and Tatiana von Furstenberg is one of the most annoying things I’ve ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Overly giggly, frightfully uninformative, superficial and boring, this track is the kind of thing that gives the (often-useful in the hands of someone like Frank Darabont, Ridley Scott, David Fincher or Sam Mendes) commentary a bad name. Other writer/director’s might use the time between their long pauses—of which there are many during the “Tanner Hall” track—to gather a coherent thought, anecdote, or joke or share an interesting bit of technical babble about how a certain shot or sequence was achieved. Not so with Gregorini and von Furstenberg. Both bumble and blabber over each other, talking about the most trivial of the trivial, and often just saying “oh, I liked working with so-and-so—they’re so talented”, “I like this shot” without actually bothering to talk about why one of them like it or how it was done, or, and this was great, “that’s my son. And that’s my husband. Aren’t they cuuuutte!” (Who cares?) The two just laugh at each other’s horrible jokes and jibe about being besties, one self-congratulatory utterance of verbal mutual masturbation after another. The tiny bit of insight to be had from this otherwise insufferable track comes in one little scene—when Amy Sedaris is attempting to mount Chris Kattan in their apartment—where the two women talk about the film being as much of a coming of age story for teens as it is a dealing with age story for middle-aged adults. Neat, I guess. Now, please shut the f**k up.

The original theatrical trailer for “Tanner Hall” (1080p, 2 minutes 12 seconds) and two bonus trailers for “Daydream Nation” (1080p, 2 minutes 5 seconds) and “Happythankyoumoreplease” (2.40:1 widescreen 1080p, 2 minutes 34 seconds) have also been included.

Packaging

“Tanner Hall” arrives on Blu-ray from Starz/Anchor Bay in a single disc eco case package. The single-layer BD-25 is reportedly locked to Region A.

Overall

The real appeal here—and Anchor Bay knows this full well—is Rooney Mara. She gives a decent performance, as do the other girls, all showing off a palpable chemistry. But, what good is chemistry between actors if the characters they’re playing are all horribly bland archetypes? And worse, if the situations those archetypes are forced into are banal, cliché or just plain dull? “Tanner Hall” isn’t really worth seeing, not because it’s an awful movie, but because it’s such a non-presence, making absolutely no impact whatsoever on the cinematic landscape, that there’s little reason to even bother. The Blu-ray disc from Starz/Anchor Bay has strong video and decent audio and one of the most annoying audio commentaries I’ve heard in a long time. “Tanner Hall” isn’t worth your time. Skip it.

The Film: D Video: A Audio: B- Extras: F Overall: C-

 


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