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Chillerama
[Blu-ray]
Blu-ray A - America - Image Entertainment Review written by and copyright: Anthony Arrigo (28th February 2012). |
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The Film
 There’s been a lot of activity on the contemporary grindhouse cinema front ever since Quentin Tarantino & Robert Rodriguez introduced the global populace to the term through their box office dud, “Grindhouse” (2007). From that point up until now, genre fans have been inundated with one after another, almost all of middling quality. For the record, I thought Rodriguez’s segment, “Planet Terror” was fun if not too overdone, while QT’s, “Death Proof” had a solid first half followed by some of the worst dialogue he’s ever committed to celluloid in the second. One thing all of these modern wannabes have in common is that their directors seem to fetishize the aesthetic and campiness of those older films to such a degree that their films come across more like parodies than homage. Everyone seems to forget that the directors of the old-school films didn’t always set out to make something tongue-in-cheek; they were trying to make genuine films. The complaints I have regarding modern sleaze films still ring true in “Chillerama” (2011), but at least the four directors responsible for the film – Adam Rifkin, Joe Lynch, Adam Green and Tim Sullivan – took a different approach and made theirs an anthology. Any horror fan worth his weight in blood loves a chilling anthology. What’s not to love? If done right, you get a few solid short films in addition to a wraparound tale that always ends with a twist! There are many titles that can be named, but I think most fans would agree that the pinnacle achievement is George A. Romero’s “Creepshow” (1982) – a film that is just a phenomenal horror movie, anthology or not. While “Chillerama” doesn’t nearly come close to hitting the bar set by that film, it’s also not exactly fair to compare them. Where “Creepshow” was a horror film serious in tone, “Chillerama” was fostered by a love of Troma movies. Anyone who has seen any Troma film has an idea of what they’re in store for – ribald humor, offensive situations, crass dialogue, excessive (and absurd) gore gags and plenty of bad acting. The film opens with the wraparound segment, “Zom-B-Movie”, which was directed by Joe Lynch. Since that doesn’t wrap up until the end of the film, though, I’ll save it for last. The first story is Adam Rifkin’s “Wadzilla”, an obvious homage to giant monster movies. But what is the “wad” in question? It’s exactly what you think it is. Miles Munson (Adam Rifkin) has a problem with his sperm; the problem being that he has an extremely low count. In order to make his sperm more potent, his doctor, Dr. Weems (played by the ever-awesome Ray Wise), prescribes him a new experimental drug that is intended to cure him using small doses of radiation. As you’d expect, things go awry when Miles’ sperm grows to unusually large proportions, escaping from his clutches (most of us know how slippery they can be!) and rampaging through the city streets of New York City, eating vagrants and getting bigger by the hour! Soon, his sperm is so large that it threatens the Eastern seaboard, so Miles and the military need to devise a plan to stop his mammoth mushroom candy from killing everyone in the area. This was definitely my favorite segment of the film. Rifkin, who has directed “Detroit Rock City” (1999) and “The Chase” (1994), pulls double duty as both director and lead actor. And you know what? He’s not half bad. I mean, for a film like this. Rifkin is pitch perfect as the humble dork that has a huge load of problems once his jean jelly starts terrorizing the city. Rifkin gave the film a vintage 70's appearance that looks perfectly suited to the intended era. The creature effects for the titular sperm were created by the Chiodo Brothers, who many horror fans should know as the driving force behind the cult classic, “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” (1988). I never thought I could appreciate a gargantuan sperm so much, but the work here by the Chiodo Brothers is great. They’ve got a distinct style that is both remarkable and instantly recognizable. Rifkin used stock footage of New York City for some shots (such as the opening credits), a wise choice since it only adds to the intended look. I have to admit, after seeing this segment I had higher hopes for the remainder of the film than some online reviews had led me to believe. But then came “I Was a Teenage Werebear”. Let me tell you something. Tim Sullivan has never been accused of being a good director. Other than “2001 Maniacs” (2005) Sullivan hasn’t made a decent film to date. He hasn’t made many, either, but after watching this segment I can only surmise that’s a very, very good thing. “Werebear” is… how can I put this? It’s incredibly homosexual. Apparently, the other guys who directed “Chillerama” told Sullivan his segment should be gay since, well, he’s gay (that’s not news). But THIS gay? Twenty minutes of two guys having a suck and f*ck fest might have been slightly less gay than this segment. And that might have at least had the benefit of employing a seasoned porn crew to make it look nice. Here, it looks like Sullivan hired some kids with run-of-the-mill equipment from Best Buy to shoot his film. And what the hell is a werebear anyway? Well, do you know what a “bear” is? Not the forest roaming kind, but the burly, hairy homo biker kind. Here’s your visual: guys in Halloween store werewolf makeup wearing outfits straight out of “Cruising” (1980). There’s enough leather here to upholster a fleet of cars. Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention that all of this is supposed to be taking place in 1962. Mind you, absolutely nothing about the production will make you think it’s 1962. Except for one obvious, glaring, hilarious prop on the wall of Nurse Maleva’s (Lin Shaye) office: a stock photo of JFK. See! This must be the 60's! I haven’t even touched on the music yet. Yes, it gets gayer because this is also a musical. Have you even wondered what the songs from “Grease” (1978) would sound like if they were horrible? Wonder no longer, friends, because the cuts here are heavily inspired by that seminal film. Except, you know, they’re terrible… but not terrible in an “awesomely terrible” way. They just flat out suck. Part of me wants to find Sullivan at the next horror convention and figure out a way to waste an equivalent amount of time in his own life. The 20 minutes I took taking my morning dump were FAR more enjoyable than the twenty I spent slogging through this mess. If the other three guys had any sense, they would have cut this out entirely because the film would’ve been much stronger without it. I’ve met Sullivan before, we’ve shared drinks, he’s a nice guy… but he should never be allowed within 100 yards of a camera again. Attempting to get us back on the good track is Adam Green’s hilariously titled, “The Diary of Anne Frankenstein”. It seems that the Frank family has been hiding a secret for years, namely that their true family name was Frankenstein. When the Nazis raid their hideout, Hitler (Joel David Moore), steals the diary full of secret alchemy and absconds to his laboratory. There, with the aid of Eva Braun (Kristina Klebe), he sets out to build the most hideous Jewish monster (former Jason Voorhees actor Kane Hodder) for his army to use in winning the war. Things don’t exactly go as planned, of course. There’s an equal amount of good and bad present in this segment. I thought Green was right in shooting it in black & white, since not only is it fitting for the time period but it also works well for the classic Universal monster homage he was going for. The set design reminded me of an old Roger Corman production. The monster design is too goofy for me to really love it, but Green mentions in the extras that this was completely intentional so I suppose I’ve got to give it a pass. It is rather funny to see Frankenstein’s monster sporting Popeye forearms and a kippah. My main beef? Joel David Moore’s interpretation of Hitler. His performance was fine, I suppose, given the context of the film, but it’s his dialogue that killed it. According to the extras, Moore actually learned some German for his role. The problem is that he doesn’t always use it; instead he speaks mindless phrases that are clearly not German, just sorta German sounding. You know, like how someone trying to imitate Chinese in a joking manner says words that sound similar to their dialect, but they mean nothing. That’s what Moore does here, and it gets annoying. Even worse, he eventually just starts throwing in anything, saying “Boba Fett” or “Farfegnugen”. It’s not funny. Otherwise, the segment does manage to redeem some of the goodwill “Wadzilla” had built up before “Werebear” raped it right out of the film. Finally, we come to the wraparound segment and its conclusion. As with most anthologies, “Zom-B-Movie” starts off the film, cuts in between segments, and finally comes full circle to cap off the picture. This one started off shaky with the graveyard opening, not because it was poorly conceived but because Lynch’s dialogue is pretty terrible. Once we get over to the drive-in theater, we’re introduced to various groups of teenagers who are there to catch the show. The drive-in is being forced to close, and its proprietor, Cecil Kaufman (Richard Riehle, portraying an obvious wink to Troma head Lloyd Kaufman) is showing all of these films as a last hurrah to the glory days. Unfortunately, the guy we met in the graveyard earlier, who receives a nasty wound I won’t reveal here, has showed up to work. And he’s infected. Some of his fluorescent zombie ooze makes its way into the popcorn butter, and soon everyone at the drive-in is infected save for a few friends trying to fend off the horde. I get what Lynch was going for here, but he had two major obstacles in his way that keep this from being better than it is: his actors suck and his writing sucks. There’s just no easier way to put that. I’m sure a lot of this dialogue sounded amazing to Joe after a few bong loads, but it doesn’t work here. It maybe could have worked if his actors were so wooden, but they all seem like this is their first acting job ever. Terrible lines can be covered up by good delivery, but bad delivery will kill both good & bad lines every time. The segment does enjoy some redemption once Riehle grabs a shotgun and goes to town blowing the crotch out of any sex-starved zombie he runs across, though. The film’s finale finds our 4 directors breaking the 4th wall by attending a screening of “Chillerama” with a packed house at the New Beverly Cinema in Hollywood. I’ve got to give them major props for that since the New Bev is one of my absolute favorite theaters to see classic movies. “Chillerama” is a film that I sort of loathed when I first watched it (“Wadzilla” aside), but as I’ve had time to dwell on it, it’s not quite so bad. I think my expectations were that this would be a serious horror anthology with some comedic undertones, but in reality it’s the horror anthology Troma never made. Depending on your tolerance for their fare, that should gauge how well you’ll do getting through this.
Video
Horror fans should already know that many of these modern grindhouse/drive-in films are intentionally manipulated in post-production to gain the aesthetic that the directors are going for. Translation: don’t expect something slick & shiny; this isn’t the latest genre turd from Platinum Dunes. That being said, I found a number of strengths and weaknesses present in the film’s 1.78:1 1080p 24/fps AVC MPEG-4 encoded transfer. The film opens in glorious black & white, but since this was likely shot on digital video to save on cost, it looks too modern to match up with the intended vintage. It does, however, look fairly sharp under a healthy layer of grain. From there, the segments vary. “Wadzilla” looks the most like a classic Troma film, with scratches, the occasional cigarette burn, white specks and grain. This approach is part of what aids in making the special effects work look seamless, since the intentionally decayed image masks some of the effects magic. “Werebear”, on the other hand, looks like cheap, shitty digital video, and it appears virtually no effort went into appropriate lighting or cinematography. It’s occasionally over-saturated (possibly on purpose), but more often than not it just looks… cheap. It’s totally out of line with the other segments, and yet another reason why this film would’ve been stronger if the whole thing had been excised. “Anne Frankenstein” is fully in black & white (and that feels very apropos for this short). Contrast is excellent, with some great lighting used to full effect, making this look far better than it probably would have in color. The final wraparound segment, “Zom-B-Movie” looks very natural, and that was director Joe Lynch’s intention. He wanted to shoot it like “Dazed & Confused” (1993), meaning as close to mimicking real life as possible. Based on the results, I’d say he succeeded in capturing that quality. Really, the only sore spot that sticks out is “Werebear”; the rest all look true to their intentions.
Audio
While the film might sport a vintage aesthetic, the sound certainly isn’t archaic. The quality can vary (intentionally) from segment to segment, but the bulk of the film’s English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound track mixed at 48kHz/24-bit is a modern beast. The opening of the wraparound segment, “Zom-B-Movie”, takes place in a graveyard during a powerful thunderstorm, and the thunder was absolutely BOOMING. I actually had to turn my system down a few notches. There’s great rear activity throughout, populated by wailing winds, crackling thunder, heavy rains, roaring mutated sperm, homosexual werebear calls and the electric currents running through Hitler’s cryptic laboratory. It’s a relentless track full of dynamic sounds. The audio on “Wadzilla” is rife with cracks and pops, but that is clearly an intentional quality. The impressive sound design carries through the entire film, culminating with Richard Riehle’s one-man-army dispatching sex-crazed zombies with a shotgun that packs a serious wallop and grenades that will leave your subwoofer exhausted from all the work. I don’t mind filmmakers using post-production techniques on video to present a more retro image, but I do mind when the audio quality isn’t up to today’s standards. I’m pleased to report that this is a high quality that that perfectly suits the film. Subtitles are available in English for the hearing impaired and Spanish.
Extras
Did this even hit theaters? I don’t know, but Image has pulled out most of the stops in bringing “Chillerama” home to Blu-ray. Supplements include a video commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, interviews and theatrical trailers. Note that, despite what the packaging says, almost all of the extra features are presented in high definition. I assumed they were all encoded in 480i as the back cover suggests, but in reality only one interview segment is presented as such. Get it together, guys! The video commentary (1080p) with directors Adam Rifkin, Tim Sullivan, Joe Lynch and Adam Green should’ve been relegated to audio-only since the four men are in a non-descript studio room and don’t do much to liven things up. They all clearly have a good rapport, joking around constantly and lighting ribbing each other, but I don’t necessarily need to see them doing it. Rifkin appears to take things the most seriously, offering some good production notes on his segment. The others do a fine job of filling in viewers on little details, like original segment titles, how this all came together, etc. but I didn’t feel their explanations made some of the segments go down any easier. “Making of The Diary of Anne Frankenstein” (1080i) is a featurette that runs for 23 minutes and 17 seconds. Knowing this would be a difficult sell based on the title alone, Green worked hard to make sure everything about this story was outrageously absurd, from casting Joel David Moore as Hitler (because no one could possibly take him seriously in that role) to making his FX crew design the Frankenstein monster to look almost cartoonish, sorta like Popeye, so that it wasn’t too menacing and serious. There’s a reel of deleted scenes (1080p) for “Wadzilla” that runs for 6 minutes and 2 seconds. Honestly, they all looked like unfinished alternate takes of what we got in the final cut, save for maybe a few shots here and there. The only difference I can discern is that many shots feature unfinished effects. “Behind the Scenes of I Was a Teenage Werebear” (1080p) is a featurette that runs for 21 minutes and 58 seconds. This ran almost as long as the actual segment in the film, and much like that segment this wasn’t any easier to get through. Sullivan rattles off about how they couldn’t secure a high school due to budget so they shot on the beach, and the local sheriff didn’t approve of the subject matter contained within the script. Personally, I would have hailed that man as a hero if he’d found a way to shut down production for good. A reel of deleted scenes (1080p) for “I Was a Teenage Werebear” runs for 14 minutes and 27 seconds. I could barely get through what made it into the film; no way was I sitting through all of this. Trust me, anything here was cut for good reason. I’d only suggest viewing it if you’re a true masochist. There are some deleted scenes (1080p) for “Zom-B-Movie” that run for 4 minutes and 1 second. These are neither good nor bad; just some scenes that were clearly excised to keep things somewhat trim. “Famous Monsters” (1080i) is an interview that runs for 5 minutes and 38 seconds with all four directors that took place at Comic-Con on 7/22/11. Here, the four men discuss the impact Forrest J. Ackerman’s seminal magazine, Famous Monsters, had on them in childhood, and how that love of classic movie monsters influenced this film. “Salfen Comic-Con Interview” (480i) is another interview with all four directors that runs for 7 minutes and 50 seconds. This interview functions more like an EPK, with each director giving a little insight into their respective segments while discussing how the project came to pass. I’m assuming “Salfen” is the name of the guy doing the interview. If that’s the case, I must’ve missed it. Theatrical trailers (1080p) are included for the following: - “Chillerama” runs for 2 minutes and 13 seconds. - “I Was a Teenage Werebear” runs for 1 minute and 58 seconds. - “Wadzilla” runs for 2 minutes and 39 seconds.
Packaging
The single disc comes housed in a keep case with artwork that is far better than the film deserves. The excellent artwork continues on inside the package, with caricatures of all four directors inside the cover art, while faux ticket artwork for “Chillerama” is hidden behind the disc itself. All in all, well done on the visual presentation.
Overall
I went into this film expecting a total nightmare based on the few reviews I’d heard from close friends. I don’t feel the final product is all that terrible… if you can somehow manage to remove all remnants of “Werebear” from your brain. That segment not only stops the film dead in its tracks, but it manages to drag the entire overall experience down with it. Sullivan is the weak link here, no doubt, but at least the other guys seem to have made a greater effort to make something fun. The most successful of them being Adam Rifkin, who proves he’s ahead of the pack in terms of being a filmmaker. Green is on his way up after making some well-received horror films, but Lynch needs to up his game. I hope his forthcoming feature, “Knights of Badassdom” (2012), can show me he’s capable of doing better. Horror anthologies are a rarity these days, so it’s nice to see something come down the pipeline, even if it isn’t the best it could have been.
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